Sunday, January 31, 2010

What do I listen to.. my head or heart..

Ever since the first time me my ex hung out after bowling, I knew I was hooked. He came over the next night after bowling and gave me a full body massage since I was really stressed out and he claimed he was awesome (which he was). Very rarely I let people help me relax cuz I'm mostly tense, but with him it's different. We end up dating before I left home for summer (we met at school) and he claims that he was only interested in the physical relationship since I am a virgin (proud of it too!). We started dating around middle of April and Memorial Day he broke up with saying how he was so stressed out with work and not being with me was really hard on him. We faught practically the whole summer.. it got bad since we couldn't see each other and all our talking was basically through text. We agreed to let things happen and be friends and see what happened when I got back to school.

Throughout the whole summer all I wanted to do was be with him. I never felt this way about anyone in my entire life or missed someone as much as I do whenever I'm not with him.

Over the course of the semester we get better and more understanding of how we feel about each other and what kind of relationship we wanted; we became more open and honest as we grew closer as friends. At this point, I grow more complicated but great feelings for him because I wanted him to be my "first" but I would only do that if we were in a relationship.

Last week we have a breakthrough and he calls me after bickering through text and he's talking for about 45 mins about how busy he his with work and trying to make time for everybody, especially me. He said that there's not a day goes by that he doesn't think about and how much he misses me. But he won't commit because he's afraid of not having the time and disappoint me.

He's been a jerk many times before and I've gotten to know him really well. His personality is like that of Luke, from Gilmore Girls (easiest way to describe him). No matter how much I tell myself to get over him and not to wait around, my heart just wants him even more. I fall asleep in his arms almost immediatley and he makes me feel a certain way about myself no one else has. I know going back with him will be complicated, but it's what I really want. But since he doesn't want the same thing, how can I stop loving him? I've given up on trying to get over him because I've tried everything and I always end up talking to him again. It feels wierd when we don't talk all day; like something's missing.

What should I do? It's been exhausting and I have other priorities (tough semester and my sister's wedding this spring) but he always creeps up because when I'm with him, it seems like everything that matters to me will work itself out (including us). I am really at a loss as to if I should keep loving him or leave him alone for good.

luv's perception..

We live in a world where everything can be measured. Our scales give us our weight down to the tenth of a pound. The weather forecasters know the exact temperature. It's no wonder that we want some sort of a chart to use that says for sure "This is not love" and "this is love". Unfortunately for lovers, emotions are not an exact science.

Every single one of us is a unique human being, with unique backgrounds, unique parents, unique views of the world. This very much applies to the word "love". There is no set meaning for this word. It in fact means many different things naturally. You can love pizza. You can love Orlando Bloom. You can love your mom and dad, and love your dog. And you can love your boyfriend or girlfriend. All of these mean quite different things to you.

So one of the most important things you can learn as you grow up is where YOU draw that line. You, personally. It is fully, completely, and totally up to YOU what you choose to call "love". Others may and will probably try to influence you. But this is one of those "core personality traits" that you need to develop for yourself.

Some people fall in and out of love daily. They love every new person they meet - at least for a few hours. Some people only fall in love after dating for several months, after getting to know what a person is really like. And some people *like* everybody that is kind to them, but a real *love* is reserved for that one special person, and is only said when the next words are then going to be "and I want to marry you." So there are many different levels of how people choose to define love.

The most common way people define love for themselves is in the middle of the extremes. It involves REALLY knowing a person, inside and out. You have known them for several months. You have seen them at all times of emotion - you've seen them happy, you've seen them sad, you've seen them bored, you've seen them excited. You have been through good times together - but you've also been through bad times. You are out of the 'new love rush' that comes when relationships begin, and even in the "bright light of day" you still care for them. You SEE and ACCEPT their faults, you don't try to claim this person is perfect. But even with those faults, you accept the faults as a part of them.

Love is not a crush - love involves someone you really know fully, not someone you admire from afar. Love is not lust - love involves really wanting to care for and help someone, not just admiring their body and wanting to touch them.

If you love someone, you are content just sitting with them for the afternoon, not being "seen", not touching each other, but just spending time together. If you love someone, then you trust them fully. You readily

I want my ex back

i want my ex back and i know she still cares about me but shes started seeing someone else!

So here’s the situation, my ex and I dated for about 6 months though not "officially" I preferred to keep it that way because it seemed like the safest option. I did not want to get burned or burn her...But I was unwilling to commit because I was unsure of the way I felt about her. Because of this I was kind of a jerk to her. I flirted with other girls, and once let her down when she was in a pinch. She told me she loved me but I told her I still didn’t know how I felt. Towards the end of our relationship I decided to make it official because she was beginning to question the validity of the relationship. Unfortunately it lasted for about 6 days, I began to feel smothered and trapped all of a sudden, and when I was given the chance (argument) I bailed...She took it hard, she cried allot all the time, said that I screwed her over. Fast forward about month, I spend some time alone, went on a few dates, when all of a sudden I realized that I missed her. I started to think about all the good times we had together and the strong connection we shared, we could talk to each other about anything and everything. So I did what everyone in my situation would do. I called her up told her I missed her and that I was sorry for everything I had done wrong. I also told her that the time apart made me realize that I love her too. But her reaction shocked me. First she started crying, and then she said she needed time to think, but I was persistent, she told me that she didn’t think she could ever be with me again and that she was just too angry and hurt to get over it but we could be friends. I agreed hoping that by keeping the friendship alive I could revive the relationship but whenever we hung out, I couldn't help but push for more. Finally everything came crashing down, I asked her if she wanted to hang out with me one night and she said yes. Later she canceled because she was going to a work party. So I asked her if she wanted to have dinner with me the next day instead. She agreed. But later that night a mutual friend invited me to the same party so I went. She started crying when the moment she saw me. She was furious I was there and wouldn’t even talk to me. She said to just leave her alone and not talk to her anymore. So I left. I called her a few days later and apologized for crashing her party and again pleaded with her to reconsider the relationship. Her answer was the same only this time she said she was talking to someone else now. I started crying and told her I was sorry and I wouldn’t bother her anymore. I’ve made a huge mistake! I want her back, is there anything I can do???

Loving him more

I've seen many of my friends, relatives, all get either dumped, cheated on, etc, and it showed me the horrible side of relationships to the point where I just decided that I wouldnt date. I'm 16 however all that I know say that I have the mind of a 30 year old (but thats not the point). I meet this guy at school, someone whom my mother would immediatley say "dont talk to him" cause he had long hair and had an earring, but I didn't care, just wanted to speak to him cause he was a close friend to my best friend. When we first spoke, I noticed taht we had alot in common, but stayed away from him cause I didnt want to get attached. Then one night, I went over to his house to play video games with his brother, and both of them decided to go to Sonic and dragged me along. Once we went there and started to walk back, the guy with the long hair (shall be called T for now), was with me the whole time and was telling me a dream he had about his wedding. I thought "okay weirdo" so I didnt think of him much. A year passed and we still spoke, then one night, I asked, what was his dream about? He told me that the woman he married, from the back look exactly like me. I asked him if this was the only reason why he liked me and he said flat out, NO. He told me every reason why, and I still turned him down. He asked me why a few weeks later, and I told him what I felt, I was afraid, I allowed him to get to me, let him see the real me, and I was afraid of being betrayed. He told me that I have to take a chance at everything at some point, but respected my decision. A few weeks later, I said, okay. He and I have been together for more than 5 months, and I find myself each and everyday, loving him more.

How to Fall Out of Love

Are you the victim of cruel fate? Does the "perfect" mate think you are better off as friends? Although it might feel like you'll never find somebody better, there are some ways you can move on. Falling out of love is as unique to each individual as falling in love, but here are some healthy ways to cut your emotional.

Make a list of all the reasons it wasn't meant to be. The number one reason should be that you are not with someone who is in love with only you. you deserve better than to be someones back-up between flings, and/or ego trip. Other reasons may include incompatibility, especially when you imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with this person and remember the ways in which you clash on a regular basis. Human memory can be selective, and you may find yourself dwelling on that first kiss in the park, or that time when you laughed till you almost cried...but also remember the times when you felt neglected, unappreciated, betrayed, or even deeply hurt.

* See their faults. Nobody is perfect. The longer you hold on to the idea that this person is perfect, the harder it'll be to get on with your life. It's completely possible that you're idealizing someone just so that you can have a fantasy to hold on to. You should accept that this person is not perfect, and definitely not perfect for you -- because the perfect person for you would think as highly of you as you do of them.
* Think of what you want from a significant other that you didn't get from this person. Was he or she arrogant? selfish? insincere? Write down the opposites of those traits (humble, giving, and honest.) Not only will you see what this person didn't have, but you'll learn from this experience and look forward to finding someone who better suits you.
* Ask yourself if it was really true love you were feeling for this person. Read How to Know the Difference Between Love, Infatuation and Lust. If you recognize that it was infatuation or lust rather than love, then you will have an easier time letting go.

Remove as many traces of their presence in your life as you can. This may not work because this person might be someone who you need to see frequently. This is very, very difficult but also very important. Ask friends and family to help you sort through things and put anything that reminds you of him or her in a box. If you want to give these things back to the person, mail them--don't give it to them in person and torture yourself. An alternative is to bury the box (presuming it won't contaminate the water supply), burn it (with caution), or throw it (forcefully) into the dumpster. The physical act of destroying reminders of them may help your emotional side catch up.

* If you lived together, consider redecorating. Even moving furniture around can help dilute those feelings that will inevitably surge when you wake up without them next to you. If it's possible and necessary, you might even consider moving.

Distance yourself. You won't want to, but staying close to someone you want but can't have just isn't healthy. Don't tell the person or anyone close to them what you are doing, as they might try to convince you otherwise. Just try to get away for a while. Don't call them, don't go places where you know they frequent, and make yourself scarce. If you must have some contact (such as work) respond to messages slowly after a few days. Only call back when you have a good excuse to get off the phone after a few minutes. Take the time to reflect on your situation and learn more about yourself.

* The object of your affection might notice you are distancing yourself from them. They may try to get you to see them more. Say you have been really busy with all of these new activities. Tell them you have other things to do, too. You must have a life separate from theirs. Don't answer their calls and don't call them or text message them. You will be tempted to, but don't. It is far too easy to get entangled again and think of all the good work you have done to distance yourself.
* Don't assume after distancing yourself for awhile that you are over it. Be careful to make sure you are fully over this person before you see the person again.
* If this person was an unhealthy influence in your life (controlling, manipulative, abusive, etc.), cut them out completely. There's no obligation to stay on good terms with someone who made your life miserable, even if they didn't mean to. They may try to make you feel sorry for them in order to keep you wrapped around their finger. Cut off all ties and move on. Read How to End a Controlling or Manipulative Relationship.

Do all the things you've ever wanted to do, that you wouldn't have done if you were still with this person. Did you always want to take a tango class, but didn't because he or she "doesn't dance, period" and you didn't want to go without them? Did you want to go to that car, fashion, or antique lamp show with your friends, but felt reluctant to spend your day off with someone other than your love? Did you want to travel to an exotic country, but your partner didn't want to go because it's too hot/dirty/boring? Maybe--probably--there are ways in which the relationship held you back. Now is the perfect time to focus on those missed opportunities. Do whatever you can to feel better about yourself. Exercise, eat well, take a class, meet people, go to parties, have fun. Life is too short to spend it pining for someone who doesn't see you for the great person you are. There are those out there who will.

Mingle. While you are distancing yourself from said object of affection, try to meet new people who share similar interests. If you choose to date, avoid the temptation to settle for whomever asks you out, just to distract you from your old flame, or you might end up making someone fall in love with you whom you don't love back!

Understand that the feelings may never fade completely. You felt close to this person at one point in your life, and while you can eventually realize emotionally that you've grown apart, you will probably always have a soft spot for him or her. At some point, it may be possible to remain friends, but mind the boundaries and don't let your heart fall back into it.

How to Break Up

Ending a relationship is one of the hardest things you can do, it breaks your heart inside, and your soon to be ex-partner. Sure, you have your reasons to break up with them, but how come it is still so hard? Because we don't want to break their hearts...

Have things turned around in your relationship?
Think about why you are breaking up with this person. If you are simply upset with your partner, you should consider talking about what upset you and focus on resolving it, rather than ending the relationship. But if this same issue has already been discussed, yet nothing changes and you keep feeling unsatisfied, hurt, or betrayed, then breaking up might be the only way to end the pattern. Your partner will ask you why you want out, and you should be prepared with answers. Before having "the talk" that ends the relationship, do your best to articulate the reasons you are breaking up. If you have trouble remembering examples during emotional discussions or arguments, write your reasons down in advance. It may help to talk this over with someone you trust, or with a counselor.

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Plan out how long you are willing to spend breaking up
. The actual conversation in which you break up with this person can last a lot longer than it should, especially if your partner is devastated or completely surprised by your decision. It'll be much easier for you to stick to your guns if the conversation doesn't drag out. Expect to spend at least one hour breaking up, and longer if the relationship lasted a year or more. You may even want to arrange an appointment with a friend in a neutral location so that you can say "I'm supposed to meet John/Jane at the restaurant in fifteen minutes, so I have to go now."

Break up in person. It is easier to break up with someone if you don't have to look the person in the eye, but it can also be interpreted as cruel and cowardly. Unless you are a long distance away and choose not to wait until you see the person again, don't break up by phone, e-mail, or through an instant messenger system. And don't even think about breaking up with someone by pulling a disappearing act, even if it's just by suddenly eliminating contact with the person. The lack of closure can be psychologically damaging.

* If you don't live together, break the news at his/her home and in private. They'll want to feel safe enough to respond emotionally--no one wants to be broken up with in public or near family and friends, and risk bursting into tears, or be forced to bottle up all those emotions. While you can break up with them at your place, making someone go home after getting news like that will be difficult, and could make them more bitter. If you are at your partner's home, you can leave after you feel you've made your decision clear.
* If you live together, breaking-up will be particularly problematic and stressful; you should have a place where you can stay until the person you've broken up with digests the big change. You can either move all of your stuff while they're not home and then break up when they come home and notice, or break up and leave with some of your things with the intention to come back when things have calmed down to get the rest of your belongings. Either way will be very difficult for the other person, but only you know what's best for your situation.

Break up calmly. If you say the dreaded words "We need to talk", your partner will immediately know what's going on, and that's not a bad thing. You don't want to blurt out "We need to break up" out of the blue, or worse, when you're in an argument. You need to approach the whole thing calmly and peacefully, with a sense of resolution. Sit down with your partner and let him or her know that you've decided to end the relationship.

Expect any or all of the following reactions.

* Questioning -- He or she will want to know why, and whether there was anything he or she could have done to prevent the breakup. Answer the questions as honestly as possible.
* Crying -- The other person will likely be upset, and it will show. You can comfort him or her, but don't allow yourself to be manipulated into changing your decision.
* Arguing -- He or she may dispute anything you've said during the breakup, including examples you used in your reasons for breaking up. Don't get dragged into a fight, and don't split hairs. Let your partner know that arguing isn't going to change your decision.
* Bargaining or Begging -- He or she may offer to change, or to do things differently in order to preserve the relationship. If the person didn't change when you've discussed your problems in the past, it is too late to expect him or her to truly change now.
* Lashing out -- Whether it's as simple as saying "You'll never find anyone as good as me" or as scary as saying "I'll make you regret this", he or she is usually just trying to make himself or herself feel better. Threats of physical harm, however, are serious and should not be ignored. If you feel that your safety is at risk, stay calm and leave quickly.

Distance yourself. It'll be difficult, but don't call them, don't go places where you know they frequent, and make yourself scarce. Take the time to reflect on your situation and learn more about yourself. Do all the things you've ever wanted to do, that you wouldn't have done if you were still with this person. Now is the perfect time to focus on those missed opportunities. Your ex may try to get in touch, but wait a while (some people suggest six months) before resuming contact, if at all. You felt close to this person at one point in your life, and you will probably always have a soft spot for him or her, but it's time for both of you to move on.

Realize that breaking up is just a normal part of life. Yes, breaking up is difficult - but like it or not, this is a normal part of teenage and adult life, and as much as it is painful, it is normal. Sometimes you will be the dumper, sometimes you might be the dumpee. We all have heartbreak; it hurts- but we all survive it, and you (and your ex) will too

Does he love me? - Signs that he loves you

"Love is a many splendored thing," is a wonderful old song. We all have a basic need to be loved. When we are children we are content with maternal love and familial bonds. As we mature and we form romantic relationships, initially we may want to keep things light and uncomplicated. But as relationships deepen most individuals feel an innate need to love and be loved in return.

In the early days of romance you may often wonder how serious your man is about you? But even those in serious relationships, whether living together or married, are not exempt from these doubts. Just because he's told you at some point that he loves you or cares for you is no guarantee that his feelings won't change. We need constant reassurance that the loving feeling is still there.

TIP: Find out how to make a man fall madly in love with you!

Apart from whimsically plucking a daisy's petals and wondering 'He loves me, he loves me not', how can you gauge his feelings? One can't generalize, but men on the whole find it difficult to express their feelings. It's often left to a woman to try and fathom his deeper feelings. What are some of the signs which you as a woman can watch out for as an indication of whether your man loves you?

1. He tells you

If he says those three words and says them often, count yourself lucky. A lot of men assume that their women know they're loved and don't really tell them often enough. If he realizes your need to hear him say he loves you, and he means every word of it, he's truly one of a kind. A man may not say the actual words but imply as much when he tells you how fortunate he feels to have you in his life.

2. He shows you

Some men aren't exactly good with words and expressing their feelings. But they choose their own avenues of expression. This kind of guy does things, little or big to show you how much you mean to him. That may include ordering take-away when he thinks you need a break from cooking or taking the kids off your hands so that you can have some time to yourself. Yes, you may need to hear the words from him, but have you never heard that 'actions speak louder than words?'

3. He makes you feel special

And then there's the man who's always trying to keep the romance alive. He brings you flowers or wakes up extra early to bring you breakfast in bed. He's always going out of his way to make you feel exceptional.

4. He's happy around you

He sometimes foregoes time with his guy friends just to be with you. It may be because you've been feeling particularly low or you haven't spent enough time together lately or just because he feels good to be with you. If he can't get enough of you it's a sure sign that he's got it bad.

5. He listens to you

We're not talking 'You command, he obeys'. But when you're talking, he's genuinely interested in what you're saying and gives you his undivided attention. He looks at you (not at the television blaring in the background or the newspaper in his hand), responds appropriately and gives you the idea that he's really concerned about your concerns.

6. He compliments you

He notices when you make an effort with your appearance and appreciates it. He tells you which things suit you and add to your look. It always feels great to dress up but when he looks up admiringly and tells you so, you know you matter.

7. He takes care of you

If he babies you when you're sick and nurses you back to health, you can be pretty sure you've got a good thing going. If your comfort level is so high that you can look most miserable and still be secure enough in his love, you've got it made. Marriage vows don't include the "In good times and bad, in sickness and health" clause for nothing. Rose, a high-flying career woman, recalls the time she was suffering from a stomach infection and feeling wretched. "I was running a high fever and feeling like my stomach was turned inside out. The only thing that made me feel like I should hasten my recovery was Marvin, my boyfriend. He was like a guardian angel. He soothed my fevered brow and held the bowl while I puked my guts out. If ever I had any doubt about his undying devotion for me, it was quelled at that instant."

8. His friends and family respect you

Sometimes you can gauge how a man feels about you from the way his circle of friends and close family behave around you. If they hold you in high regard, you can be sure he's been telling them just how happy he is to have you in his life.

9. He appreciates your worth

Sometimes men choose more indirect ways of expressing their true feelings. He may not actually tell you he loves you or even do anything special. But he may tell you how proud he is of your achievements or what a good mother you are or even how well you run the house. You may even find him praising you to the skies to family or acquaintances.

10. He asks for your opinion

When important decisions are at stake, either concerning him or both of you jointly or even the kids, he doesn't just go ahead and do what he thinks is right. He asks for your advice and not just for the sake of it. He often considers it and may even go by it. Or if he doesn't, he tells you why he didn't.

11. He takes your feelings into account

If something upsets you concerning his family or friends, he tries to see your side of it. He feels for you and even if he's seen you cry a thousand times before, he still tries to make you feel better and has that tissue box at hand.

12. He's interested in what you want too

Let's say you're both watching television and you want to watch Oprah, while he'd like to catch Arsenal v/s Chelsea. You know how men are where football is concerned! If he lets you watch your choice of program, not just grudgingly but because he loves to see you happy, you've got a winner. And if he actually sits through it just because he wants to be by your side, you know he's a goner!

Did He Ever Love Me?

I was exiting a 2 year relationship fully ready to be single. Ready to go out with friends without having to worry or feel guilty about having a man at home (i never cheated on him, I'm not the type). I was at work one day, and walked into the employee lounge...and my life will never be the same again. the moment i saw David* my heart skipped a beat and i couldn't believe how strong my immediate attraction was to him, id never felt that before. he had the most beautiful, clear hazel eyes and a smile that made me melt...and was he hot! i never thought in a million years he would be interested in me. luckily...and after some bribing...i got to train him. after a few hours on the sales floor and some talking about ourselves i was immediately impressed with him. we started talking and taking lunch together when we could. a few weeks later, a little birdie at work told me he had told them he liked me! ....ME!....I couldn't believe it...until things started to get flirtatious. turns out...he wasn't sure if I liked HIM!I met some of his friends, whom i like very much. we would hang out and talk for hours on the phone a night, sometimes until dawn. we admitted we liked each other, but he wanting to take things slow, which we were both in agreeing on...after a month and a half of a strong attraction building and "dating" we became a couple....and one week into our relationship we have our first kiss and i will never forget it. a few days later he was dropping me off at home and he kissed me goodnight, looked deep into my eyes and he told me he loved me. i wasn't expecting that, i mean i knew in my heart I felt the same way, I just didn't think he was on the same page as me so quickly. He must have realized what he said and immediately blushed and apologized. I told him he didn't have to apologize because i felt the same way....only after a few weeks of dating! he treated me like a princess, always Mead me feel good about myself and bought me flowers, and Godiva chocolates (my favorite!) always picked me up from work, dropped me off if he could. literally spent every waking moment with me, and I loved every minute of it. He became my best friend, someone who made me laugh until i cried, and i genuinely loved spending time with and best of all my parents loved him! and he loved spending time with my family, his parents divorced and he always told me how he never wanted that for himself. .....I was too blind in love to see the signs. His relationship with his parents was disgusting at best. he had no respect for either parent. After become rather close to some of his female friends, they began to "warn" me about "how he is" and to "be careful". The said, in so many words, that he was controlling, Jealous, Cheap and Selfish.....NOT MY DAVID*!Soon, in little examples i saw what they meant. He became insanely jealous, made it so any and all of my male friends would stay away from me...and eventually my female ones too!We would fight (who doesn't?) Endless argue,ments because he always loved to throw his ex-girlfriend in my face. and constantly accused me of cheating on him. It became so I wasn't aloud to go anywhere without him. It was hard for me to realize what was going on because in my mind i always wanted him with me anyway. One day we decided to take a "break", and he called me endlessly, and I didn't respond (a first) he started calling my family, my job looking for me. He came to pick me up from work and marched right into my store and in front of my boss and customer yelled at he he would kill me first before any other man could ever have me! that was a huge turning point for us, I told him if he ever said that again he would never see me again. I began to notice the the tilt of financial responsibility go from him to me. I always paid for myself, always took care of myself, and eventually he wanted me to takjke care of him too! and i did it like a mindless idiot. Soon, I was fighting with my parents, they began to not like him. Eventually, I got myself thrown out of my house and moved in with David after a year and we returned to our blissful happiness....even though his jealousy and insecurity about himself remained. As happy and in love as we were, It became impossible to have any privacy or do anything without his approval without a fight. I can pin point the one event that spelled the end for us being me loosing my job. This was supposed to be a time for him to be there for me, to support me, emotionally and financially....instead he left me out in the cold. abandoned me. He because disrespectful, and insulting and just an ugly person. He had gone away with his father for a week or so, and when he returned i found out he had gone out, and went partying and rinking with friends...things i wasn't " aloud" to do.....that was it for me! i told him i was done, at first he was like , OK whatever...but once i got another job and began making plans to move out...he got scared, told me i should stay that he love me...every other day the rest of the time he was telling me how useless i was and i should go. Once i had finalized plans to move home...he told me to stay, pleaded with me to stay. But i couldn't id had enough. we kept in touch over the next few eeks and he always told me evertime he saw me how he still loved me, and he told friend how he still loved and missed me....until a few weeks later i found out he was dating an old frined of hours and i cut off any and all communication between us. The just had a child and its been one year since we have broken up and my heart has still not fully healing. I still cry sometimes, i cant help how i feel about him. He was my first love, i have learned to live without him.We never had real closure, which is why i think i still feel like this for him But the one question always stick in the back on hy head....Did he ever love me?

en Are Hard To Please

The problems with GUYS:

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG.
If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.
If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.
If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.
If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.
If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
& sooo hard to please!!!!!




One must understand whether "what is love" can be a question which can be answered? Love cannot be a question. For, if it is a question then an answer should be there. If the answer is there, where is it? This question is ancient and an answer should have been found by now! If the answer has been found, the question would have disappeared.

But the question still remains, meaning the answer has not been found. If it has not been found as yet, then what is the certainty that it will be found? Maybe the mind can never find the answer! A single answer, which will please all minds, is not possible for each mind has its own ideas of love. Hence a universal answer is an illusion.

Individual answers are there for love and for this very reason there are arguments about love for each mind will contradict the answer of another mind. This contradiction is normal for each mind lives in a different point in time. Hence "what is love" is an illusionary question, which has no answer! - Dr. Vijai S. Shankar

How do you define love?

Some say it's mysterious, magical, complex, difficult, imaginary, thought-provoking, inspirational, intuitional, joyous, immeasurable, ecstasy, and undefinable. Perhaps.

In one of Dr. John Gray's audio cassettes he defines love as follows: "Love is a feeling directed at someone which acknowledges their goodness."

On the same cassette, he refers to the definition by M. Scott Peck: "The willful intent to serve the well being of another."

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 13:5-7

My favorite is by Paramahansa Yogananda: "To describe love is very difficult, for the same reason that words cannot fully describe the flavor of an orange. You have to taste the fruit to know its flavor. So with love."

Love itself is a universal experience. Yet, every individual occurrence - while perhaps bound by a common thread - seems absolutely unique. Love is what love is! To everyone it expresses itself differently.

Love is the answer to "all" questions!

It is important to stand in Love, not fall into it.

Love is waking up to find the object of your affection in the dream you were having asleep on your shoulder.

Could it be that Love is a story that can never be fully expressed?

Love is seeing an imperfect person perfectly. - Sam Keen

Love is a bond or connection between two people that results in trust, intimacy, and an interdependence that enhances both partners.

Love is the ability and willingness to allow those you care for to be what they choose for themselves, without any insistence that they satisfy you. - Leo Buscaglia

Making Love is the highest level and the most loving way we can physically express or demonstrate our Love for our love partner. Everyone knows that the sexual experience can be the single most loving, most exciting, most powerful, most exhilarating, most renewing, most energizing, most affirming, most intimate, most uniting, most stress-relieving, most recreative physical experience of which humans are capable.

Love is friendship set on fire. - Jeremy Taylor

If you would be loved, love and be lovable. - Benjamin Franklin

When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared they won't Love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still Love you, they Love you even more. - Matthew - age 7

Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day. - Mary Ann - age 4
I love you!

Logic says everything in this world has a cause and an effect. True Love is the only feeling which is its own cause and its own effect. It is something illogical and yet above all logic. I Love her because I Love her, and I Love her so I Love her. - Prateek Kumar Singh

Love is comforting someone in need of Love and having them know that somebody cares.

Love is looking past imperfections in your partner and seeing the beautiful person inside. True love seeks the happiness and well being of your partner. Love expresses itself in the mutual respect you demonstrate to your partner.

Guys, this one is for you! - Love is letting your partner have the TV remote for 30 days!

Love must be experienced. Its meaning is infinite and can never be totally defined.

The opposite of Love is fear. Think about it.

There is no fear in Love; but perfect love casts out fear. - Bible, 1 John 4:1

God is love.

Love is loving someone without expecting anything in return; no judgments, no restrictions; no limitations; no expectations!

True Love is the nature of bliss.

Love is expressed when you are being someone who loves someone for who they are, not who you think they should be.

Love is embracing differences and discovering ways in which to build a common lifestyle, share decision-making, and taking equal responsibility for the results.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. . . I was either in Love or I had smallpox. - Woody Allen

Love seeks no cause beyond itself and no fruit; it is its own fruit, its own enjoyment. I love because I love; I love in order that I may love. - St. Bernard 1090-1153, French Theologian and Reformer

Teach only Love for that is what you are. - A Course In Miracles

Love is a decision.

Love Wagon If you want Love, you must first Love. Love begets Love. You cannot deliver from an empty wagon. You must first learn to Love yourself before you can give Love.

"If you Loved me, you would. . ." Not! Love is not manipulative. It must never be used to get others to do what you want. When you Love someone you never ask them to sacrifice a part of themselves in the name of Love. This form of manipulation contaminates our Love for another.

Can't Buy Me Love! - The Beatles

Love is to like with a great intensity.

True love has a foundation of integrity, respect, faith and trust. Love is the force that brings about unity and harmony.

Celebrate Love! - Larry James

Although love is at the root of our basic nature, Love for another human being must be cultivated. It takes time for Love to mature.

Is your love free and unconditional, or is it mixed with various needs, conditions and demands from your partner?

Love is embracing differences and discovering ways in which to build a common lifestyle, share decision-making, and take equal responsibility for the results.

The road to self-discovery is paved with Love.

Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Love has no meaning other than the meaning "we" give it.

Perhaps. . . Love just Is. While in its allness and in its nothingness, all we need to do is simply let it Be.

Robert Heinlein in "Stranger in a Strange Land" said, Love is. . . "That condition whereby the happiness of another is essential to your own." (Thanks, Don)

To demonstrate Love. . . say, "I Love you" - outloud - at least once each day to someone you love. There is magic in these three little words. Saying "I love you" is the most beautiful gift you can give to your partner. These words are the most treasured a person can hear. To be different, say, "I Love you" in a foreign language.

Day 8: 100 reasons

There’s more than 100 reasons why i love my baby…but here are 100 reasons why i love him. I love u pookie….missin u

****believes in god a lot****

1.) He loves me

2.) He cares for me

3.) He’s my superman

4.) He’s my life

5.) He’s always there

6.) He always makes me smile

7.) He’s perfect

8.) Never screws up

9.) yells at me :P

10.) looks amazing

11.) argues with me[its really cute.his face is so SERIOUS LOL]

12.) feeds me with his hands

13.) so open with me

14.) trusts me

15.) he’s the only person who i trust 100%

16.) never lies to me

17.) does everything i want him to do for me

18.) fights for me

19.) hugs me

20.) kisses me

21.) tells me that he loves me

22.) protects me

23.) he’s my husband

24.) he’s my boyfriend

25.) he’s my best friend

26.) he’s my valentine

27.) my soulmate

28.) my lil baby

29.) acts like a kid

30.) sometimes says the stupidest things

31.) he’s forgiving

32.) he’s mature

33.) he’s also immature

34.) he can be and act like a smart adult

35.) makes good choices

36.) acts totally stupid

37.) i love his smile

38.) his ears

39.) his eyes

40.) he’s my heart

41.) he’s the reason why im here today

42.) he’s the reason why i am how i am today

43.) made me a better person

44.) held my hand and led me into a beautiful world

45.) closed my eyes and took all the pain away from me

46.) tells me that it’ll be okay even in the worst situations

47.) cries so easily

48.) cries when i cry

49.) laughs when i laugh

50.) if i were to jump off a bridge he would come too…even though he doesn’t know how to swim…stupid

51.) he would do anything i ask him to do

52.) the reason why i believe in true love is him

53.) taught me how to walk on the right path

54.) treats me like a child

55.) voice is amazingly soft and silky

56.) so romantic

57.) ignores everybody when im with him

58.) doesn’t answer his friend’s phone calls when im talking to him

59.) treats me like a queen

60.) gives me more than i need

61.) buys me random gifts…when i ask him not to lol :P

62.) he’s my sunlight

63.) he’s my moonlight

64.) he’s the only hope i have

65.) never ever makes me cry

66.) he’s my dream boy

67.) he’s so obbsessed about me and i love it caz im so obbsessed about him lol yay obbsession!

68.) he doesn’t mind if i look like crap

69.) wakes up early in the morning during his winter break to come and drop me to school and spends about 30 mins with me

70.) always tries to act like he’s happy even when he’s not

71.) he is so jealous about me talking to any boy…SO cute! lol

72.) holds my hand so softly and calmly

73.) he always knows what to do

74.) he wears his socks half way on and half off

75.) never matches

76.) never talks to any girl except for the girls who he knows very well

77.) screws up my hair all the time

78.) he broke my clay house that i worked to hard on lol

79.) made me a rose and a monkey drawing

80.) he gave me the place of god in his heart

81.) he can be a pain in the butt(but i love it) i know i love u too baby

82.) got me a perfume bottle instead of deoderant that i told him to get me hahaahah gud times

83.) he helps out so many people

84.) thinks of everybody first and then about himself

85.) he looks like hiritk roshan(indian actor) lol

86.) he can be so clumsy


88.) doesn’t have a clean closet

89.) throws everything all over the place in his room

90.) wears a black patka ever since i told him that i don’t like it when he wears colorful patkes. (patka=turban like thing for boys)

91.) never looks at any girl

92.) gave me the key to our house

93.) buys me the cutest necklaces

94.) an amazing essay writer

95.) HORRIBLE speller LOL

96.) he’s the other half of me

97.) we’re one soul….he’s 50% and im 50%….we make one person

98.) he has good taste in clothing

99.) he’s the reason why im writing this

100.) he’s my everything….without him, i would have never told you guys about these 100 reasons why i love him because, i’d be dead without him.

I love you pookie ji missin u a lot and these 100 reasons are nothing compared to how much love i have for you. Typing up 100 things is easy to do, but to show you how much i love you is the hardest thing that i will do soon…because, no matter how much i tell and show u that i love you soooooooo much….i’ll have more and more to tell u and to show u… love for you is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. It’ll take me more than 10000000000 lifetimes to show you how much i love you. But for now, those 100 reasons should sum up half of my love. I love you baby…missin u tty soon hopefully

Is he the man for me?

It all started in high school. I met this guy through a close friend i used to school with. It all started as a big joke but turned out to be real. The guy was so shy, couldn’t think he’d make me happy, but he proved me wrong. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. He made my life so fun and real, through him i got to know what love is!

Things went so well with us but then, i got a job in another country and he also joined the army, hence our love turned out to be long distance. I know what i feel for him is real and great, but am not sure if am ready to settle with him. Am 23 years old, ready to settle down with him but then i think my dad won’t accept him, and am also not ready to be disappointed, should i take the risk or should i move on, and wait for fate to offer me something better? I love him so very much!

Single Mother

I am young of twenty and have 1 kid, a boy. About a year ago, I knew a man 8 months (Online). He was married, and I took him seriously. Because I thought he was very nice..

My boyfriend died some time ago. I was heartbroken, and finally my sister persuaded me to come back to my old home town. A short time after, I met this man again.

He told me that. he is separated from his ex wife (Filipina), and that he had two children to take care of. He is still married, and living alone at his apartment and working to support his children. We have seen quite a lot each other lately (Online Cam), and are very fond of one another.
But here is the problem:

He had promised his wife not to marry again, because she did not want the children to be unhappy. She had seen so many children made unhappy by step parents, and thought it would be better if he remained single.

But I am sure that I would be good to his children. My boy is fond of him, and he seems like them a lot. I think he trusts me, hates to break his promise. I’m lonely for companionship, and believe we could be happy together and make his children happy. My son and him know each other, and often play together (On cam); they seem to get along all right.

Please tell me what to do about the whole thing. I hate being left in mid-air, not knowing what is what, or how to plan for the future.

*My thoughts*

* It was rather a strange promise for me to make, and it was not right of this wife to expect him to keep it. Marriage vows say, “until death do us part.” They do not actually bind a person to eternal loneliness if one marriage partner leaves this world.

But since I feel as he does, I doubt whether I would be happy if I did marry him. The memory of his first wife would probably always come between me, and if something went a little wrong, he might be prompted to compare me with his first marriage partner.

However, if he feels that he cannot break his promise, and that it binds him unconditionally, then it would be better for me to see him less often and have other friends, and meet some fine man who would be eager to give me and my son a home.

I talk things over with my friend; after that I will be able to decide whether I should keep on going with him, or find someone who isn’t bound by a promise not to marry again.

Forever and Always

She was a beautiful young girl. Her name was Paige.Her eyes were a tinted blue that as he comments ” You could stare into them for hours…” He meant the world to her. She would gladly die for him. His name was Dokota.His hair was so brown it looked black. At first it was just some small crush but the night he told her he thought he was falling for her you could hear her haert pounding in her cheast. They knew they were meant for each other. There was of course a small kind of big problem. He, Dokota, had a girlfriend. Now you would think he would tell this girl he was with, that it was over. Well he couldn’t. He still had feelings left for this other girl. He called Paige every night to let her know he still cared that he still had feelings left for her. He sang her songs, played his guitar. Just for her. Then rummors flew and they got around to her. The rummors said that he was in love with other girls and even her bestfriend tried telling her he was playing her. ( which he realy was.) She of course knew the whole time what he was doing, she didn’t care. She REALY did love him. So she thought “just as long as he pretended to love me I could make it through.” She knew that without him she would be nothing. She wanted to forget about him. She tried day after day. Trying got even harder. Still she had to try. But, the only thing that came were the tears he would never get to see the tears he would never help her wipe away. To this day they are still not together but in her heart she will always want and need him, she will always love. ALWAYS AND FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Love is not a feeling, it is an ability.”

First of all, I know this story is gonna be very long..but at least please try to read my story so you can get some ideas about soul mates and secret love. Enjoy reading!

I remember this guy back when we’re still in fourth grade let’s call him in the name of Mr.Genius (coz his very good in Math). So my story goes like this.

First day of school, I meet my old friends and some new classmates. Our class adviser decided to arrange our seats. He seats in front of me. We still don’t know each other that time.

The second day, the teacher told us to get 10 sheets of pad paper for our penmanship folder, then the guy seating in front of me offered to give me ten sheets of pad paper, he was kinda friendly to me, but I said no thanks coz I have my own. The next few days, he was friendly to me and we talked to each other, get to know more about each other, and I noticed that when I arrive at school he was there talking with his guy friends and when he saw me arrive, he suddenly will go to his seat. These time I was thinking that this Mr. Genius guy likes me because I saw some obvious signs where in a guy is doing when he likes a girl. But, that time I wasn’t that into things like crushes or simply boyfriends thingy. That time I already knew that Mr.Genius likes me, so I was thinking of a way so he would not like me anymore, then I start to be rude to him, and I start to avoid him. One time when we were having our Chinese calligraphy class, he’s jacket was placed at the back of his chair. Then suddenly I accidentally brushed my Chinese brush onto his jacket, leaving a big black mark on his jacket. I’m so shocked and don’t know what to do, because I know if he found out he’ll be mad at me. So I decided to just sit quietly and continue writing. Later he found out, then he asked me if I was the one who did that, I said it wasn’t me, because I was afraid to tell him. Then he got mad at me and told his friends about it. The first quarter has ended and the teacher again decided to change our seat plan, this time it was me who was seating in front of him. It was like every time if the teacher is going to change our seat plan, he is always near me. That time when I accidentally put Chinese ink into his jacket, from then on don’t talk to each other anymore, few weeks past, we began to develop shyness between the two of us. Every time I’m gonna pass near him, I noticed that he is trying to avoid me.

When we were in fifth grade, I don’t know what was happening to me, but soon I just realized that I have feelings for him (It’s just really weird), so that time I don’t know what I was doing, I black texted him, and in one of our text he asked me if I was interested in him and I said I was..(I don’t know what I’m doing that time, right know I’m thinking back that time were I confessed to him that I like him, It makes me feel that I’m totally a foolish girl.) But soon he knew that it was me and I was so ashamed, don’t know what to do because he is telling his friends that I confessed to him that I like him.

By the way, his friend’s brother and my brother know each other and they were both friends, so it means Mr.Genius Guy knows my brother and my brother knew everything that I was doing, and I felt very ashamed. I just wish I didn’t do that anymore.

When we were in sixth grade, Mr.Genius guy has a crush on a girl. Just so you know, Mr.Genius guy is a playboy.

This Mr.Genius guy has a friend, and his friend has a crush on my friend. His friend knew that I like Mr.Genius. So his friend told me that if I would agree to spy on my friend and he to will spy on Mr.Genius and tell me more about him. Then I agreed. He asked Mr.Genius if he is still interested in me, and Mr.Genius guy said that he has liked me back when we were still in fourth grade until now (sixth grade) (that time he likes a girl, me and genius guy are not classmates anymore in sixth grade.)

When there is a batch program or when I’m walking at the hallways or at the corridors, sometimes we cross pass each other and I saw that he stares at me and suddenly look back, he is totally shy too. We haven’t talk for almost 2 and a half yrs. already because we were not classmates. And it’s almost our graduation so I decided to ask him if I could have his graduation pic, he was really shy, and I notice him blushing, and he said yes.
I’m just wondering why is that, if he likes someone at the school, he asks the girl if she can be his girlfriend, but he has a crush on me too, but why is that he is too shy and doesn’t do the same thing to me like what he does to the other girls he like.

Now, that I’m a freshmen, sometimes we cross pass each other and sometimes he look at my eyes so deeply, like he wants to say something, we try to act normal to each other. Sometimes I realize that my fate is testing me, because often we saw each other in the same places. And until now I still has a crush on him, even though he has hurt me a lot of times, I keep on telling myself that I’m not gonna like this person anymore and I’m gonna forget him already, but this feeling I have for him still does not fade away and keeps coming back. I still have this one question on my mind..Does he still like me?

I miss him...:-(

it’s been way too long……….too long. I haven’t met raj for about 10 days. I remember when i had to leave to go to india for a vaction/to study. On the way to the airport all i could feel was my tears falling down. My parents wanted me to study in india for a whole year. That meant that i wouldnt be able to see raj for a whole year. I was so far away from him yet sometimes i felt as if he was right there. When i got onto the plane all i cud wish for was a miracle that just took me away from everything and let me hold my raj. I took my seat on the plane and waited for it to take me so far away from him. I prayed and prayed for all this to be a dream. But no, it was reality. When i got off the plane at the airport in Delhi, i noticed that he wasnt here…besides me. That’s wen it hit me..that now im alone. I walked up to see my uncle waiting there for me along with my my moms uncle. They were so happy to see me and my family. I smiled and tried not to let out my tears. My uncle, Ranveer grabed my arm and held me in his arms. For a second, i just wanted to tell him everything about me and raj right there, so that i cud at least cry. He told me that i had grew so much. Last time he saw me was when i was 5 years old and now here i am infront of him as a 13 year old girl. We got into the car and started to head towards Punjab, my home. I asked them how long is it going to take? All they cud say was just go to sleep manpreet. Later i found out that it takes about 8-9 hours from Delhi to get to Punjab. Yea, a little overwhelming? First i had to leave raj in America all alone, second i had to sit thru 15 hrs. on the plane, and now 8 more hours to get home? lmao i was tired as hell but i didnt close my eyes throughout the whole journey. I wanted to call raj…tell him once more that i love him so much. When i reached punjab everybody just wanted to hug me and talk to me. I was quiet and i didn’t want to talk to anybody. Although i had to act as if i was having lots of fun. After a few days, i had to attend my uncle’s marriage(not ranveer, hes only 20). This uncle was also my mom’s brother but he was older than ranveer uncle. After the marriage, i had to go to school, like every other kid on earth. School was an interesting experience in india. Apparently they called 7th grade 7th class over there….lol. I had a tough time with everything. They made me make up every single work that i missed. I stayed up every nite filling out my notebooks with all the work i had missed since the begnning of the year. Sometimes i used to cry while doing my work, and i told everybody that i was jus worried about my study. At nite, when i was sleeping my aunt told me that i was talking in my sleep in english. She cudnt understand me..thx god or else she’d probably kno that i was talking about raj. On the outside, i was a jolly little 13 year old kid but from the inside, i was turning into somebody that i didn’t even recognize. I wasnt the same manpreet anymore. I didn’t cry….i didn’t sleep….i almost stopped eating. If anybody asked me if i had already eaten, i wud just say yea i did. But the truth was that i was hungry like crazy, but i wanted to be fed by raj. I wanted to eat,sleep, and have fun with him and nobody else. I hated everybody…i stopped going to school after 15 days. I just cudn’t take it anymore. I hated to sit along the window at nite and just stare at the pitch black night. I hated it when i cried and nobody was there to ask me if i was okay. Somtimes i asked god why does he do this to so many people? why is he doing it to me? I thought that he was punishing me but i soon realized that it was all a test from him. God wanted to know if we truly did love each other. He wanted to know if i would forget about raj and start to think of some other guy….he wanted to know if the love that i had and if the love that raj had was actuallly true. Some time in August, i sat in the room alone…looking at my aunt’s cell phone. I knew what i was doing and i knew if i had gotten caught i wudnt have any excuses of why i was talking to a boy. I reached for the phone, and hid inside the closet. It was a burning hot day and i was sweating in the closed closet. I dialed his number with excitement and fear. When he picked up, i heard his soft, smooth, and sweet voice. His voice healed that hole that was riped into my heart when i left him there. I cud tell that he had jus woken up when i heard his voice. He said hello over and over again and thats wen i noticed that i was crying…silently. He told me to talk and the silence between us told him that it was his manpreet. He knew it was me yet i hadnt even said a word to him. I didn’t say anything becaz i was afraid if he had moved on. I know, im stupid to think that way. I thought that raj wud have started to like some other girl after i left. It had been 5 months already now. I didn’t go to school but i started to eat, and sleep a little after i heard his voice. Towards the end of August, i called him again. This time i actually spoke to him for about 2 mins. At first he didn’t believe that it was me calling him. But later i told him that i was coming back from india in September. I heard his voice fill with joy and i had a real smile on my face after so long. After a few days, i was packing my suitcase. Everybody asked me to just stay but i cried and whined how the school isnt good for me and that im going to fail every class that i took. That was just an excuse to go back to india. It took me really long to convince my parents to let me come back to America. They spent a lot of money on me. They bought me my uniform, shoes, books, and they payed for the school fee. It was a lot of money that i had wasted but i knew that i cudnt live without raj. I just couldn’t take 6 more months of pain…it was too much. I sort of felt bad that i wasted their money so much but if i had stayed in india longer, i wud have wasted a lot more money…and i probably wudnt be alive. I was so happy to leave india. Everybody was sad but i was the jolly one out of everywun. I cried a little so that they don’t think im weird or something. Ranveer uncle, and my two aunts droped me off at the Delhi airport. I was sad to leave my real home, but the truth is that wherever my husband is, that is where my home is. My parents, sister, and brother had left a few months earlier than me. I stayed in india with my grandma, aunts, and uncles. In india everybody treats you like their child, so staying away from my parents wasn’t a big deal for me. I waited for my plane to be called so that i cud get on board and fly to America. When i heard my plane’s name, i felt so happy to know that i was going to be in my raj’s arms very soon. First of course i had to sit thru a 15 hour ride. lol…I reached america and my parents came to pick me up from the New York airport. This was the first time i had ever been on a plane by myself….it was kind of scary but i knew my raj was with me so i didn’t have to worry about anything. My mom hugged me and my dad did too. They said they missed me alot and that they are glad that i came back earlier. Even though they were the ones who fought me and tried to force me to stay in…parents…they so weird. I got into the car and i didn’t fall asleep thru the 15 hour plane ride or the 2 hour ride from the new york airport to philadelphia. When i reached home, my eyes were tired. I went to my room and saw the phone waiting for me. I grabed the phone and i didn’t have the energy to dial the numbers. I fell onto the bed and finally slept in peace after 6 months. Next morning i called raj asap. I heard his voice and he told me how he went through the same thing as i did. I couldn’t believe that he waited for me…for so long. I couldn’t believe that i waited for him for so long. I don’t anybody on earth who wud go through so much for their loved one. Those 6 months in india, were awful but that time proved to me that we were meant to be for each other. We started to meet again and things were back to normal. For the first few weeks, i had to change back to the real manpreet that i had forgotten about in the past 6 months. Soon things were perfectly good again. I guess God got his answers….and that answer was from me and raj. We proved to him that we together were….2 hearts but 1 soul. Those 6 months made us stronger. The fact that we waited for each for so long told us how much love we had and still have for each other. Today i sit here and im whinning about 10 days? ha funny. Because, i know if i could make it through 6 months of pain….i could definately wait for him for 10 days…..forget 10 days…i wud wait for him for the rest of my life if i had to..,..just because we’re not always together, doesn’t mean that we’re going to break and shatter into pieces. Somtimes you have to have hope….and when that hope is strong enough, you’ll know that you have something so special that nobody in the world has. That could be….your love or anything small. Hope is one thing that keeps us together. Trust is the biggest thing that makes our tiny strings of love stronger and stronger every and each second…..hope…. and trust……forever.



I realized that I was in love when the words mentioned above struck my heart. Every one experiences love once in life time….love has nothing to do with caste, creed, and religion. As they say love is blind and this is what exactly happened in my life.

It’s a long story which I am very proud to share with all the lovers.
I was just eighteen when I met this girl when my sister brought her to our house. She was so pretty and innocent that she could not lift her eyes to take a glimpse of me. And I complained to my sister, your friend did not even say hi. After two days I got a call from her saying, can I speak to your sister please? It was repeated twice. But the fact was my sister was just an excuse, where as my sister stood beside her when she called up. I did not about it until she told me a year later.
One fine day she came to my house with my sister and my mom requested her to stay over night. I was very glad to see her as she said hello to me. In another two days I was suppose to go to Chennai for pursuing my graduation and I requested her, why don’t you stay for another two days till I leave. And she said ok. As a part of our tradition we always take blessings from neighbors and the elders before leaving home and so the previous night I asked her to join me to receive blessings. We both went to one of my neighbor’s house which had a nice dog that tried to greet me by jumping over. She was scared and she caught hold of my hand and the very moment I had the feeling that I want her. When I finished visiting, I asked her if she could be willing to come with me for a walk. She wanted to ask my sister if she could go with me but then I stopped her. I took her to a lonely place where almost the streets covered with darkness with just the moon light. She said she was scared as it was dark out there. But then I told her not to be afraid I am with you. And then stood in one corner above a lake where water was flowing. There was a long silence….I wanted to tell her about my feelings but then my hands were almost shivering. The time was running short and we had to leave that place. As we were walking I suddenly stopped and decided to have the courage to express my feelings towards her. And I asked her, will you give me whatever I ask you? She stood confused for some time and she said, I will give you if I can. Then I asked her will you give me a kiss? Listening to me she was so surprised and perplexed that she could not answer me. But then she asked me, what relationship we have that she can share a kiss with me. But then I could not answer her. I told her its ok I do not want the kiss lets go home and I turned around and took a step, but she caught my hand and I asked me, do you love me? And I said nothing. But by then she was in love with me and agreed to share a kiss with me later, but she did not know when. After dinner everybody went to sleep. I was sleeping in my room and she was sitting in my sister’s room. I made sure that everyone was asleep before entering my sister’s room. I woke her up and told her to come to my room and I went back to my room. I was waiting but there was no sign of hers. I went again and told her to come, she said she was afraid. I told her every ones asleep and so nothing would happen and I went back. She came to my room after sometime and set on my bed. I asked her have you come here for sitting? She told me she knew not what to do and so I told her to lie down and I kissed her. That was the first kiss we both shared. But even after I kissed her I did not realize that I loved her. The next day I left. The house where I was staying did not allow us to have cell phone and so we could keep in touch. One fine evening she rang up on the landline and I was very happy. Since we had a time table where I stayed it was not possible to ring up too often because everyone used to get calls within the allotted time. And luckily she got me on line. The moment she heard me I could sense the kind of joy and happiness that she was filed with. Before keeping the phone she said something strange, I LOVE YOU. But I said nothing and cut the call. And that have been the first time I broke her heart. I went home for Christmas and I called to my house. During that time I had other girlfriends of mine and I considered her as one among them. I used to step out of the house and come back only in the evening, and after coming home I used to keep my self busy on the phone talking to my other girlfriends. I hardly had any time for her; accept at night on the bed. How she must have felt? But she never complained. The same things used to repeat every time I went home. I was hurting her so much without realizing the pain she underwent. But finally the day came when expressed her feelings by saying the most touching words, ‘YOU REMEMBER ME ONLY WHEN IT IS TIME TO GO TO BED.’ Her words touched my heart and I realized that I was in love with her. That was the day my life changed completely. I knew I was grown up and I have certain responsibilities on my shoulders. I was no more the same person as I was before. For the first time in my life I felt as if I belong. My eyes almost filled with tears and my soul was rejoicing. And for the first time I said to her the most awaited words, ‘I LOVE YOU.’
This is not the end but there is something that I have not mentioned throughout the first part of my love story.

The girl whom I love belongs to Hindu Religion and I am a Christian. We have been in love for last 3 years but our only concern was will our parents agree for our marriage. I love my mom a lot and she loves me too. I thought my mom would understand me but then when my home people came to know about our relationship, they were so angry that they stopped speaking to me. There was so much of sadness in my house. No one spoke to me properly. My mom insisted that I should leave her. She would all the time remind me that people will talk bad about us and it will bring bad name to our family. She is not at all ready to accept our relationship. I made her understand as much I could but nothing works out. There is no way I can leave her because I love her so much. She is the one who changed my life for better and I have dreamt my future through her. I was so depressed and I did not know what to do. Finally a time came when I had to raise my voice against my mom inspite of my unwillingness to do so. But I was helpless and I told her that I do not care to what my neighbors and relatives say. I do not care what the society and my friends think about me. I used all the terms and my words hurt the most. But the truth is, I did not mean to hurt her. I was just trying to say that my LOVE IS TRUE.

I also met my girlfriend parents I told them that I love and want to marry her, but Religion is the problem for them.

We love each other so much that we cannot live without each other even a single moment. But no one wants to understand us. Every one thinks how the people around will react to this. But no one cares for the two hearts beating as one.


Thank you Shana for making me the kind of person I am today and I am sorry for all the times I have hurt You.
I love you a lot!

Prince Charming? Really?

I spent many years searching for my prince charming. My expectations were high but beyond what I ever thought I deserved.
I had a first marraige based completely off of having children with my childrens father…it didn’t work!
One day about a year after my divorce I went to a gathering of friends and I saw a man who literaly took my breath away. The setting was open where each of us could speak at leisure and very comfortable. Brent began to speak and the whole room stopped to listen to him and what he had to say, at that moment I was swept off my feet before he’d even met me. At the end of the gathering I looked at him thinking he’s too good for you but just give it a shot. So I asked for his number, he gave it to me! From that point we talked every free moment we had.
I told him I had three children and he proceeded to tell me he did as well. Between us our six children ranged from two yrs old to seventeen yrs old.
I have no perfect way to explain how this all came together so perfectly, but we have now been together for six yrs with our six children and it is still wonderful! I am so happy and so blessed that some power greater than me made it possible for us to meet!
At the begining of this story I said I had high expectations of men, but what I found is, I would have sold myself so short by searching out those qualities I thought I wanted!
My hope for everyone in this world is to find this kind of love and realize that our typical version of “Prince Charming” is not even comparable to real love!


Ways to Propose

True love is so rare and worth cherishing. It is no wonder you want to stay all your life with the person you love with all your heart. Today, trust in marriage is fast depleting because both parties are more interested in themselves than in pleasing each other. If you happen to be of a different mindset and would not mind going that extra step to ask your beloved to be with you, you should propose her//him immediately when you believe you are ready.

A marriage proposal can become the most memorable event in your and the other person’s life. It is necessary that you are absolutely sure that the person you are proposing to says ‘yes’ when you propose or else it will lead to disappointment. At the same time ensure that you are not late in proposing.

A memorable proposal will always be the one which is interesting, creative and innovative. You should ensure that the person you are proposing to enjoys this event thoroughly and that you are paying complete attention to this person. There are so many ways you can propose to a person, make him/her feel wanted and welcomed into your life forever. Check out some of these very interesting and innovative ways for proposing:propose

1) Book: This is one of the most complimentary methods of proposing to someone. If your sweetheart is an avid reader or literary genius, you can check out this unique option. This book is especially fruitful if your relationship has been a long one. You can bring up unique and happy memories of your relationship. You can write about this person in detail and reasons why you value him/her so much. Write the book yourself or get it written from a professional writer. Publish a single copy and present it to your beloved with the proposal on the last page.

2) Garden: If you love gardening and your beloved loves flowers, this is an ideal and a very touching way to propose. However, this method requires you to plan out your garden meticulously. Keep a separate patch for this purpose, plant and grow flowers in letters that will spell ‘Marry Me’ with the name, wait until the flowers grow full bloom and bring your beloved to this garden blindfolded and surprise him or her.

3) Boat Ride: Nothing can be more romantic as going out in the sea or a lake with nothing but the nature around you and your beloved. If you and your sweetheart are water lovers and related sports activities, this is a great way to propose. Take your sweetheart for a boat ride and propose.

4) Music: Are you a good crooner? You can sing love songs with most ease? Assemble one or two people to play music instruments for you and start recording love songs, and when you want to propose you should sing a love song with a proposal song for your beloved, a sure way to win his/her heart and a partner for a long time.

5) Adventure Outing: If both of you love adventure, you could go out on an adventure holiday and you could propose to your sweetheart at a time when you are at the most perfect point or place during the outing. It could be atop a hill you have just climbed or in the darkest of woods or on a starlit night in middle of nowhere. You could increase your happiness ten fold through the adventure outing.

6) Greeting Cards: This is another great way of proposing and surprising your partner at the same time. This is useful if you live in or occasionally do go to stay with each other. Greeting cards are a great way to express, therefore do not choose just a single card - instead, you could choose a series of cards showing your affection. Place each card in every room your partner is most likely to visit in the morning. Let the words ‘Marry Me’ card be in a place your partner is fond of. This method is inexpensive, making just the right choice or cards would make it worthwhile.

7) Emails: Add mystery and adventure to your proposal. Send emails anonymously; make emails - soft and comfortable that speaks only of your feelings and nothing else. Let your partner wait of another email each day, ensure you send your name with the propose email. This is the method so many people use for proposing the next person.

8) Create a Video: An artist or a good performer would love this surprise. Create a video of yourself painting or acting or dancing for a love song, towards the end you can propose to your beloved in the video. It is absolutely necessary to watch the video with your sweetheart if you want an instant answer.

9) Cook Up A Proposal: Learn a special dish your sweetheart loves, invite the person over for a romantic dinner, make sure everything is perfect. Create an unbeatable romantic mood, a perfect dinner date. And serve what your sweetheart loves, make sure that is perfect too and propose.

10) Agreement: Write promises that you will make at the time of marriage to your beloved, sign it yourself, and ask your beloved to sign the agreement if your sweetheart agrees to the proposal, a fun and surprising way for proposing.

So check and try the method you will use for proposing to your sweetheart. The above unique methods will surely win your beloved’s heart!

Five Reasons to get married and Five Reasons not to get married

Getting married is once in a lifetime decision for many people. When people wish to get married, invariably all of them expect a full life together. Very few would think of marriage as a short-term exercise. Hence, it is very much necessary that all aspects of a life together be fully analyzed before tying the knot. Usually men and women tend to have different perspectives about married life. It would be better to have open and honest discussion to sort out the possible future irritants or at least understand them so that some sort of compromise could be arrived at.reason to marry

The reasons that a man looks at while desiring to marry her are innumerous. However, a few of them top the list in order of priority. For most men, the need of a woman in life is necessitated by the motherly love that he had received in his early life. He needs a woman who can show him the same love and who could fulfill his physical and emotional needs. That is why many men look for the same qualities in a woman that their mothers possess. The second reason is to have a lifetime companion, who can share his desires and needs. The third reason is love. When a man feels that he loves a particular woman, he wants to own her fully. This might appear to be a wrong reason but that is the way humans are made. Everybody likes to possess what he or she desires and human relationships are no different. In some cases, the man might marry a woman because she has become pregnant and is carrying his child. Certain men wish to marry a woman who is having the same career as his, so that they would be able to adapt to each other better. It is quite usual for a doctor to marry a doctor and a lawyer to marry a lawyer. They would be able to understand the work pattern and the workload of each other. However, few others are very particular that the woman is having a different profession, so that their interests do not clash. This choice depends on the outlook of the individual.

In short men marry women for the following main reasons.

* The wish to continue the motherly love received in childhood.
* Desire to have a lifetime companion.
* The love the man has for the woman.
* The woman having become pregnant by him.
* To have a woman who has a similar career for easier adaptability.

Women also marry men for nearly the same reasons. However, one important reason that women have in marriage is to escape from parents that they do not like or from a parent who is abusive. Sometimes, men also marry for this reason but the number is much lesser than women. So the reasons for a woman marrying a man can be enumerated as follows.

* Wish to escape from parents.
* Desire to have a lifetime companion.
* Love for the man.
* Having become pregnant by the man.
* To have a man having a similar career for easier adaptability.

The reasons for getting married are quite obvious. On the other hand, the reasons for not getting married are much more complicated. In fact, it would be difficult to mention reasons for not getting married. However, the reasons for a marriage becoming a failure could be discussed with more ease. There are several jokes about marriage but nearly all of them are at the expense of the woman. There should be some strong reasons for that. Probably, the main reasons are the innumerable needs that women have that drain the purse of a man and the continuous nagging that women indulge in after marriage. One joke says that a successful man is one who can make more money than his wife spends but a successful woman is one who finds such a man. Many women tend to nag the men too much after marriage. They try to compare their husbands with other men who are more successful in life, which is resented by the husbands. Wives also tend to give free advice to men as to what they should and should not do, which is also not liked by many men.

Infidelity is one more reason that could harm the institution of marriage. Both men and women, who are quite possessive, would be repelled when they come to know about extra-marital relationships, leading to separation. Physical incompatibility is the cause for break-up in several cases. Even loss of interest in sexual relationship after some time could lead to a break-up of the marriage. Finally, the conflict in tastes and interests that appeared insignificant before the marriage starts to take a larger picture in married life. Disagreements increase, resulting in final separation.

Even though it would look absurd if we list reasons for not getting married, we could list the reasons that break-up marriage.

* Over-spending by the wife and living beyond the man�s income
* Continuous nagging, comparing the man to others more successful, and giving unwarranted advice
* Infidelity
* Physical incompatibility or sharp decrease in sexual interest
* Conflict in tastes and interests leading to disagreements and fight

What is Love

What is love? It is one of the most difficult questions for the mankind. Centuries have passed by, relationships have bloomed and so has love. But no one can give the proper definition of love. To some Love is friendship set on fire for others Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it. No matter how you define it or feel it, love is the eternal truth in the history of mankind.

Love is patient, love is kind. It has no envy, nor it boasts itself and it is never proud. It rejoices over the evil and is the truth seeker. Love protects; preserves and hopes for the positive aspect of life. Always stand steadfast in love, not fall into it. It is like the dream of your matter of affection coming true. heart: what is loveLove can occur between two or more individuals. It bonds them and connects them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. Love should be experienced and not just felt. The depth of love can not be measured. Look at the relationship between a mother and a child. The mother loves the child unconditionally and it can not be measured at all. A different dimension can be attained between any relationships with the magic of love. Love can be created. You just need to focus on the goodness of the other person. If this can be done easily, then you can also love easily. And remember we all have some positive aspect in us, no matter how bad our deeds maybe. And as God said �Love all�

Depending on context, love can be of different varieties. Romantic love is a deep, intense and unending. It shared on a very intimate and interpersonal and sexual relationship. The term Platonic love, familial love and religious love are also matter of great affection. It is more of desire, preference and feelings. The meaning of love will change with each different relationship and depends more on its concept of depth, versatility, and complexity. But at times the very existence of love is questioned. Some say it is false and meaningless. It says that it never exist, because there has been many instances of hatred and brutality in relationships. The history of our world has witnessed many such events. There has been hatred between brothers, parents and children, sibling rivalry and spouses have failed each other. Friends have betrayed each other; the son has killed his parents for the throne, the count is endless. Even the modern generation is also facing with such dilemmas everyday. But �love� is not responsible for that. It is us, the people, who have forgotten the meaning of love and have undertaken such gruesome apathy.

In the past the study of philosophy and religion has done many speculations on the phenomenon of love. But love has always ruled, in music, poetry, paintings, sculptor and literature. Psychology has also done lot of dissection to the essence of love, just like what biology, anthropology and neuroscience has also done to it.

Psychology portrays love as a cognitive phenomenon with a social cause. It is said to have three components in the book of psychology: Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Also, in an ancient proverb love is defined as a high form of tolerance. And this view has been accepted and advocated by both philosophers and scholars. Love also includes compatibility. But it is more of journey to the unknown when the concept of compatibility comes into picture. Maybe the person whom we see in front of us, may be least compatible than the person who is miles away. We might talk to each other and portray that we love each other, but practically we do not end up into any relationship. Also in compatibility, the key is to think about the long term successful relationship, not a short journey. We need to understand each other and must always remember that no body is perfect.

Be together, share your joy and sorrow, understand each other, provide space to each other, but always be there for each others need. And surely love will blossom to strengthen your relationship with your matter of affection.
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