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Sunday, January 31, 2010

LOVE IS BLIND

“MY HEART WAS BROKEN INTO PIECES, BUT I LOVED YOU WITH EVERY PIECE OF MY BROKEN HEART ’’

I realized that I was in love when the words mentioned above struck my heart. Every one experiences love once in life time….love has nothing to do with caste, creed, and religion. As they say love is blind and this is what exactly happened in my life.

It’s a long story which I am very proud to share with all the lovers.
I was just eighteen when I met this girl when my sister brought her to our house. She was so pretty and innocent that she could not lift her eyes to take a glimpse of me. And I complained to my sister, your friend did not even say hi. After two days I got a call from her saying, can I speak to your sister please? It was repeated twice. But the fact was my sister was just an excuse, where as my sister stood beside her when she called up. I did not about it until she told me a year later.
One fine day she came to my house with my sister and my mom requested her to stay over night. I was very glad to see her as she said hello to me. In another two days I was suppose to go to Chennai for pursuing my graduation and I requested her, why don’t you stay for another two days till I leave. And she said ok. As a part of our tradition we always take blessings from neighbors and the elders before leaving home and so the previous night I asked her to join me to receive blessings. We both went to one of my neighbor’s house which had a nice dog that tried to greet me by jumping over. She was scared and she caught hold of my hand and the very moment I had the feeling that I want her. When I finished visiting, I asked her if she could be willing to come with me for a walk. She wanted to ask my sister if she could go with me but then I stopped her. I took her to a lonely place where almost the streets covered with darkness with just the moon light. She said she was scared as it was dark out there. But then I told her not to be afraid I am with you. And then stood in one corner above a lake where water was flowing. There was a long silence….I wanted to tell her about my feelings but then my hands were almost shivering. The time was running short and we had to leave that place. As we were walking I suddenly stopped and decided to have the courage to express my feelings towards her. And I asked her, will you give me whatever I ask you? She stood confused for some time and she said, I will give you if I can. Then I asked her will you give me a kiss? Listening to me she was so surprised and perplexed that she could not answer me. But then she asked me, what relationship we have that she can share a kiss with me. But then I could not answer her. I told her its ok I do not want the kiss lets go home and I turned around and took a step, but she caught my hand and I asked me, do you love me? And I said nothing. But by then she was in love with me and agreed to share a kiss with me later, but she did not know when. After dinner everybody went to sleep. I was sleeping in my room and she was sitting in my sister’s room. I made sure that everyone was asleep before entering my sister’s room. I woke her up and told her to come to my room and I went back to my room. I was waiting but there was no sign of hers. I went again and told her to come, she said she was afraid. I told her every ones asleep and so nothing would happen and I went back. She came to my room after sometime and set on my bed. I asked her have you come here for sitting? She told me she knew not what to do and so I told her to lie down and I kissed her. That was the first kiss we both shared. But even after I kissed her I did not realize that I loved her. The next day I left. The house where I was staying did not allow us to have cell phone and so we could keep in touch. One fine evening she rang up on the landline and I was very happy. Since we had a time table where I stayed it was not possible to ring up too often because everyone used to get calls within the allotted time. And luckily she got me on line. The moment she heard me I could sense the kind of joy and happiness that she was filed with. Before keeping the phone she said something strange, I LOVE YOU. But I said nothing and cut the call. And that have been the first time I broke her heart. I went home for Christmas and I called to my house. During that time I had other girlfriends of mine and I considered her as one among them. I used to step out of the house and come back only in the evening, and after coming home I used to keep my self busy on the phone talking to my other girlfriends. I hardly had any time for her; accept at night on the bed. How she must have felt? But she never complained. The same things used to repeat every time I went home. I was hurting her so much without realizing the pain she underwent. But finally the day came when expressed her feelings by saying the most touching words, ‘YOU REMEMBER ME ONLY WHEN IT IS TIME TO GO TO BED.’ Her words touched my heart and I realized that I was in love with her. That was the day my life changed completely. I knew I was grown up and I have certain responsibilities on my shoulders. I was no more the same person as I was before. For the first time in my life I felt as if I belong. My eyes almost filled with tears and my soul was rejoicing. And for the first time I said to her the most awaited words, ‘I LOVE YOU.’
This is not the end but there is something that I have not mentioned throughout the first part of my love story.

The girl whom I love belongs to Hindu Religion and I am a Christian. We have been in love for last 3 years but our only concern was will our parents agree for our marriage. I love my mom a lot and she loves me too. I thought my mom would understand me but then when my home people came to know about our relationship, they were so angry that they stopped speaking to me. There was so much of sadness in my house. No one spoke to me properly. My mom insisted that I should leave her. She would all the time remind me that people will talk bad about us and it will bring bad name to our family. She is not at all ready to accept our relationship. I made her understand as much I could but nothing works out. There is no way I can leave her because I love her so much. She is the one who changed my life for better and I have dreamt my future through her. I was so depressed and I did not know what to do. Finally a time came when I had to raise my voice against my mom inspite of my unwillingness to do so. But I was helpless and I told her that I do not care to what my neighbors and relatives say. I do not care what the society and my friends think about me. I used all the terms and my words hurt the most. But the truth is, I did not mean to hurt her. I was just trying to say that my LOVE IS TRUE.

I also met my girlfriend parents I told them that I love and want to marry her, but Religion is the problem for them.

We love each other so much that we cannot live without each other even a single moment. But no one wants to understand us. Every one thinks how the people around will react to this. But no one cares for the two hearts beating as one.

I would end up saying, SHOULD RELIGION BE A BAR FOR MARRIAGE?

Thank you Shana for making me the kind of person I am today and I am sorry for all the times I have hurt You.
I love you a lot!

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