Sunday, January 31, 2010

Single Mother

I am young of twenty and have 1 kid, a boy. About a year ago, I knew a man 8 months (Online). He was married, and I took him seriously. Because I thought he was very nice..

My boyfriend died some time ago. I was heartbroken, and finally my sister persuaded me to come back to my old home town. A short time after, I met this man again.

He told me that. he is separated from his ex wife (Filipina), and that he had two children to take care of. He is still married, and living alone at his apartment and working to support his children. We have seen quite a lot each other lately (Online Cam), and are very fond of one another.
But here is the problem:

He had promised his wife not to marry again, because she did not want the children to be unhappy. She had seen so many children made unhappy by step parents, and thought it would be better if he remained single.

But I am sure that I would be good to his children. My boy is fond of him, and he seems like them a lot. I think he trusts me, hates to break his promise. I’m lonely for companionship, and believe we could be happy together and make his children happy. My son and him know each other, and often play together (On cam); they seem to get along all right.

Please tell me what to do about the whole thing. I hate being left in mid-air, not knowing what is what, or how to plan for the future.

*My thoughts*

* It was rather a strange promise for me to make, and it was not right of this wife to expect him to keep it. Marriage vows say, “until death do us part.” They do not actually bind a person to eternal loneliness if one marriage partner leaves this world.

But since I feel as he does, I doubt whether I would be happy if I did marry him. The memory of his first wife would probably always come between me, and if something went a little wrong, he might be prompted to compare me with his first marriage partner.

However, if he feels that he cannot break his promise, and that it binds him unconditionally, then it would be better for me to see him less often and have other friends, and meet some fine man who would be eager to give me and my son a home.

I talk things over with my friend; after that I will be able to decide whether I should keep on going with him, or find someone who isn’t bound by a promise not to marry again.

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