Sunday, January 31, 2010

“Love is not a feeling, it is an ability.”

First of all, I know this story is gonna be very long..but at least please try to read my story so you can get some ideas about soul mates and secret love. Enjoy reading!

I remember this guy back when we’re still in fourth grade let’s call him in the name of Mr.Genius (coz his very good in Math). So my story goes like this.

First day of school, I meet my old friends and some new classmates. Our class adviser decided to arrange our seats. He seats in front of me. We still don’t know each other that time.

The second day, the teacher told us to get 10 sheets of pad paper for our penmanship folder, then the guy seating in front of me offered to give me ten sheets of pad paper, he was kinda friendly to me, but I said no thanks coz I have my own. The next few days, he was friendly to me and we talked to each other, get to know more about each other, and I noticed that when I arrive at school he was there talking with his guy friends and when he saw me arrive, he suddenly will go to his seat. These time I was thinking that this Mr. Genius guy likes me because I saw some obvious signs where in a guy is doing when he likes a girl. But, that time I wasn’t that into things like crushes or simply boyfriends thingy. That time I already knew that Mr.Genius likes me, so I was thinking of a way so he would not like me anymore, then I start to be rude to him, and I start to avoid him. One time when we were having our Chinese calligraphy class, he’s jacket was placed at the back of his chair. Then suddenly I accidentally brushed my Chinese brush onto his jacket, leaving a big black mark on his jacket. I’m so shocked and don’t know what to do, because I know if he found out he’ll be mad at me. So I decided to just sit quietly and continue writing. Later he found out, then he asked me if I was the one who did that, I said it wasn’t me, because I was afraid to tell him. Then he got mad at me and told his friends about it. The first quarter has ended and the teacher again decided to change our seat plan, this time it was me who was seating in front of him. It was like every time if the teacher is going to change our seat plan, he is always near me. That time when I accidentally put Chinese ink into his jacket, from then on don’t talk to each other anymore, few weeks past, we began to develop shyness between the two of us. Every time I’m gonna pass near him, I noticed that he is trying to avoid me.

When we were in fifth grade, I don’t know what was happening to me, but soon I just realized that I have feelings for him (It’s just really weird), so that time I don’t know what I was doing, I black texted him, and in one of our text he asked me if I was interested in him and I said I was..(I don’t know what I’m doing that time, right know I’m thinking back that time were I confessed to him that I like him, It makes me feel that I’m totally a foolish girl.) But soon he knew that it was me and I was so ashamed, don’t know what to do because he is telling his friends that I confessed to him that I like him.

By the way, his friend’s brother and my brother know each other and they were both friends, so it means Mr.Genius Guy knows my brother and my brother knew everything that I was doing, and I felt very ashamed. I just wish I didn’t do that anymore.

When we were in sixth grade, Mr.Genius guy has a crush on a girl. Just so you know, Mr.Genius guy is a playboy.

This Mr.Genius guy has a friend, and his friend has a crush on my friend. His friend knew that I like Mr.Genius. So his friend told me that if I would agree to spy on my friend and he to will spy on Mr.Genius and tell me more about him. Then I agreed. He asked Mr.Genius if he is still interested in me, and Mr.Genius guy said that he has liked me back when we were still in fourth grade until now (sixth grade) (that time he likes a girl, me and genius guy are not classmates anymore in sixth grade.)

When there is a batch program or when I’m walking at the hallways or at the corridors, sometimes we cross pass each other and I saw that he stares at me and suddenly look back, he is totally shy too. We haven’t talk for almost 2 and a half yrs. already because we were not classmates. And it’s almost our graduation so I decided to ask him if I could have his graduation pic, he was really shy, and I notice him blushing, and he said yes.
I’m just wondering why is that, if he likes someone at the school, he asks the girl if she can be his girlfriend, but he has a crush on me too, but why is that he is too shy and doesn’t do the same thing to me like what he does to the other girls he like.

Now, that I’m a freshmen, sometimes we cross pass each other and sometimes he look at my eyes so deeply, like he wants to say something, we try to act normal to each other. Sometimes I realize that my fate is testing me, because often we saw each other in the same places. And until now I still has a crush on him, even though he has hurt me a lot of times, I keep on telling myself that I’m not gonna like this person anymore and I’m gonna forget him already, but this feeling I have for him still does not fade away and keeps coming back. I still have this one question on my mind..Does he still like me?

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